Sunday, January 1, 2012
Friday, October 1, 2010
Interviewer: How long have you been riding scooters?
Scooter-Mann: It was right after my fifth divorce which was about 15 years ago.Yes,I remember clearly,I was 25.I used to ride a Harley.I switched to an electric scooter once I got kicked out of the Biker Club I was a member of.I love riding the electric scooter because it's politically correct and much better for the Enviroment then a gas engine.I have autographs from both Al Gore and Leonardo Dicaprio...I loved that movie "Titanic".It is like the story of my life!
Interviewer: You?..were in a Biker Club? Why did you get kicked out?
Scooter-Mann: Yes,"The Ranch House Raiders" was the name of it.It was a pretty cool Club but our leader and I didn't see eye to eye.We both fell in love with the same girl.I think she liked me because I am very sensitive,have great teeth and am a Yellow Belt in Karate.I also belong to five different Records and CD clubs so I can literally get any downloaded song you can imagine.Girls love music,you know?
Interviewer: Who are your heroes?
Scooter-Mann: I would have to say Steve McQueen and Evil Knievel...those two guys were classic and I could watch both of them on TV all day long.Actually,I do....that's the best thing about being an Action Figure.I don't have to go to work if I don't want to.I can just watch TV all day...plus...I don't have any bills to worry about either,no groceries cause I don't eat.It is quite the life I tell you!
Interviewer: You are a Yellow Belt in Karate?
Scooter-Mann: Yes,I am.I can actually beat up the average 12 year old...I mean,not that I would...
Interviewer: Are you still studying Karate?
Scooter-Mann: Yes,I'm taking an on-line course from some guy I met on Craigslist.He says he is certified.The whole course was $12,500 up front.I'm expecting my green stripe in the mail any day now.
Interviewer: What former jobs have you had before becoming the mechanic/owner of The Brant Rock Garage?
Scooter-Mann: I worked at a Toll Booth once.I met alot of people doing that job.I also got free tolls for everyone in my Family.It was great!..until I got fired.
Interviewer: Why did you get fired?
Scooter-Mann: I was selling stuff on E-Bay.
Interviewer: Selling stuff on E-Bay? That's not illegal or anything? Why would they fire you for selling items on E-Bay?
Scooter-Mann: Well,to save on shipping I was having people come by and pick the stuff up at my Toll that I was working.I sell this Grandfather Clock...and the guy comes to pick it up in a sports car.My Supervisor Hank turned me in shortly after that episode.
...to be continued
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
"Hi Everyone! My name is Jett...or Jett Scootergirl as some people call me.I work at The Brant Rock Garage with my good friend Scott. Some people know him around town as "Scooter-man".
We both work together at The Brant Rock Garage and help the people around town with their everyday needs. Sometimes our friends from all over the World come by to say hi and also help us out.
Scooter-man likes to race scooters and motorcycles with his two good friends "Gordon from Britain" and "Anthony from Italy".We also have a lot of other friends that come and visit too.
My cat Simon doesn't talk but he sure does help us rescue people when we need him.He is an expert in climbing up trees,down steep hills and hard to get places.
Well,I better go now,we have a lot of work to do...and as we say around the garage when we have to leave..."READY...SET...JET!"
Jett Scootergirl/Scooter-man and Friends is (c) and TM 1993-2008 Squire Wells.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
London,England: Gordon Sumner aka "Gordon from Britain" tricked a remarkable 3,000 points Saturday night before a packed crowd of 90,000 people at Wembley Stadium.
It was a great night for everyone as Gordon performed his famous trick...the back to front, as well as other tricks in his routine.
"I haven't felt this good since I saw The Who back in 1989, and that was right here in the same stadium." Gordon told BBC correspondent Nigel Hawthorne.
The fans went crazy as Gordon was up against some tough competition. The Cicilian Brothers Vinny Milano was a favored rider but ended up with a close 2,950 points placing second right behind Gordon.
Gordon rides for the International "TEAM SCOOTER-MAN".
Scooterman is (c) and TM 1993-2008 D.Squire Wells
Scootergirl is (c) and registered trademark 2008 D.Squire Wells
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Milan, Italy: Anthony from Italy jumped a record 20 busses on Friday before a packed audience of 29,999 people at The San Siro Stadium in Milan, Italy.There would have been 30,000 people in attendence but Anthonys biggest fan, his mother, got stuck in heavy traffic in downtown Milan.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Filming has yet to begin but the cast is ready! Jawws 17 is coming to a theatre near you, Summer of 2010.
"Most of the actors from the last film won't be returning to the set of this one...if you know what I mean." Director Gene Kennedy said in a statement from his Malibu Colony mansion near Hollywood in L.A.
So far the Jawws movies have grossed over 102 billion dollars worldwide.
"Alot of people keep coming back to see the Jawws films because they have no idea what really happened in the first ones. The plot is difficult for most people to figure out,sort of like the Rambo movies,therefore, they feel the need to see it again" a source close to the Producers,Wifes,Cousins Uncle said.
Scooter-man who stars in the new film is pictured above getting acquainted with his co-star at Orlando's See-World.
"The studio did a great job on his veneers"he said.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
A group of local sky-divers had contacted Scooter-man
earlier that day to report that some items had been taken
from their jump-base. A parachute, some sunglasses and
a paperback book on self-defense written by Jet Li.
Scooter-man and Gordon had been called by the local
Forest Ranger to investigate sightings of the ape-like-
man-creature many of the locals came to know as
"Sasquatch." Sasquatch was feared by many but no
reports of any injuries occurred when encountering
the beast-like creature. Just sightings.Even so,the
locals wanted answers. What did Sasquatch want?
a hot meal? tickets to a concert? a hot shower?
was it just a hoax?
The Brant Rock Garage was many miles away in
Massachusetts but that didn't stop Scooter-man
and Gordon from trekking out to the mountains
of Oregon on their scooters to see if they could help
the Forest Ranger, Rick Mcgillicudy with his quest--
To see exactly what was going on with Sasquatch and
Jett Scootergirl and Anthony from Italy agreed to
stay behind at the garage and come later that day
by means of travel with the scooter-copter, a cool
vehicle that Gordon and Jet had assembled together.
The two men had now set up camp and were just
beginning to relax.
"What was that?" shouted Scooter-man.
"What,did you hear something?" asked
"Look! over there by that bush,somethings
"Your right Scott. Keep your voice down, let's
go see what it is." Gordon stated.
The two scootermen got up from their portable
lounge chairs (bought at Target for $5.99 a piece)
and headed towards the bush.
Scooter-man led the way and Gordon was right
behind him. They were careful not to make too much
Scooter-man was wearing his moon boots that he had
received as a present recently and Gordon was wearing
those corny looking Croc shoes everyone raves about.
Both kind of shoes were ideal for noiseless walking.
They now were right behind the bush when they heard
another loud noise.
"KEEYATE !" came the loud scream from down the
What was it? they both wondered. They decided to
carefully peer down the mountainside.Trying very
hard not to be noticed. They peered out around the bush.
It was Sasquatch ! the man-like-ape creature.He was very
large. At least 7 feet plus. He had hair all over his body and
had huge shoulders and long arms.He also had on what
appeared to be a backpack strapped to his body and a
paperback book in his hands,like he was studying something.
"Let's get back and get the scoots." Gordon whispered.
"Wait Gordon." Scooter-man reached into his pocket and
pulled out some binoculars. "Let's get a better look."
Scooter-man was now peering through his binoculars.He
could now get a closer look at Sasquatch and what he was
It was the Jet-Li self defense book that the sky-divers
reported missing from their base-camp. Sasquatch was
actually reading it. Trying to make sense of it. He began
practicing moves he saw in the book.
"Gordon,you're not going to believe this. Check it out."
Gordon took the binoculars from Scooter-man and
looked throught the lenses.
"He is studying the Jet-Li self defense book,why ?"
"Look !" Scooter-man jumped back.
Sasquatch was now in a karate stance. He lunged forward
and did a front middle-lunge keeyate punch,then a round
house kick followed by a back-spin kick,spin around elbow
strike and five jumping side kicks right in a row.
"KEEYATE ! yelled Sasquatch.
Sasquatch was doing Karate. Unreal. He was a fast learner,
or did he study Martial Arts before ? It was never reported in
the past that Sasquatch was a trained Martial Artist. His form
was near perfect and his karate scream sounded like something
out of a Hollywood movie.
The two Scootermen decide to act fast. They now needed to get
out of the area fast,before Sasquatch noticed them.
"Alright,let's get out of here." whispered Scooter-man.
"No problem. That Sasquatch could really mean business."
The two scooter-man were now just about out of the bushes when all of a sudden one of Gordons Croc Shoes popped and let out a huge noise.
"Oh No! I knew I should have bought the real Crocs and not these cheap knock-offs"
Scooter-man turned around. "Those aren't real Crocs?"
"No,these were on sale at Job Lot for $4.95. I put the Croc stickers on them myself that I bought on E-Bay..."
Sasquatch turned around immediately and now had seen the two men.
"ARRRR!!!" he screamed. He then began walking towards Scott and Gordon.
"AHHH!" screamed Scott and Gordon.
Sasquatch was now staring the two men right in the face. Growling.The two were standing still waiting to see what he would do next. Sasquatch then started to charge towards them. Both men got down to their kness.
"Cover your head Gordon!" Scott shouted.
Gordon was now in a curled up position and Scott the same.They were both afraid.Even though they were men.
Just then a huge gust of wind came blowing in from the mountainside.Scott and Gordon grabbed on to a tree nearby,but Sasquatch was now airborne. He was headed right off the mountain.
"Ahhhh!" he shouted. Sasquatch went flying into the air and was now over the mountainside. He began falling down into the sky. The two Scooter-men quickly ran over to the edge of the mountian and peered over to look. Sasquatch was going to get very hurt if he hit the ground. Scott and Gordon wondered what to do next when all of a sudden...it happened. The parachute opened up from Sasquatch's back pack. It must have been the one missing from the jump-base. Unbelievable. He was going to be alright.
The two were waiting patiently to see him land safely on the ground when they noticed something wrong. Sasquatch was headed right for a tree.
"BAM!" he hit the tree hard with his parachute and was now just dangling from the tree-limb.He looked up towards Scott and Gordon and began to yell.
"Help!" "Help!" he yelled.
That was strange. The two men thought to themselves. Sasquatch was yelling Help. Did he actually know English?"
"Let's go!" Scott demanded to Gordon. The two both jumped on their scooters and were off.
"READY...SET...JET!" they shouted right before they took off.
The two were now down by the tree were Sasquatch lay hanging and dangling.
"Help me you guys! Please!"
Gordon had now climbed up the tree and was getting ready to cut down the parachute with his scoot-knife (bought on E-Bay for $5.95 w/BUY IT NOW option)
"Here you go!" he said as he cut the chute loose.
The parachute and Sasquatch came flying down on the ground. Sasquatch hit the back of his head and then something happened. The top part of Sasquatch head came flying off...it was a mask! Sasquatch was actually a human being. It was a man.
Scott and Gordon immediately recognized the imposter. It was Rick McGillicuddy,the Forest Ranger,dressed up like Sasquatch. But Why?"
"Forest Ranger Mcgillicudy! I can't believe it...you!?" Scott exclaimed.
The two helped him up as he was shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm so sorry guys. This is all my fault. Iwas such a fool."
"Why did you do it Forest Ranger Mcgillicudy...why?"
"I don't know...I just wanted some attention I guess. Even if I had to get it from pretending to be someone else."
"Well, why don't you try being an actor or something?" Gordon asked.
"Well I did,but it's hard you know? I joined Myspace,Facebook,SoYouThink YouCanAct.com and all those websites trying to get my big break but nothing has happened yet.I even tried out for that new Jet-Li sky diving movie that was being filmed locally here in Oregon...and got nowhere. I guess I'm just frustrated. I'm so sorry to put you through all this you guys."
The two looked at him. Smiling.
"It's alright Forest Ranger Mcgillicudy.We forgive you. But just remember.Things take time. Don't give up on your acting or your dreams. Keep trying and never quit."
Forest Ranger Mcgillicudy turned to both the men and began smiling.
"Thanks guys,I feel better already. Say,do you think you can give me a ride home?"
"Sure,no problem." Gordon replied.
"Thanks,I gotta get home to watch the all new X-FILES.
Scooterman is (c) and TM 1993-2008 D.Squire Wells
Scootergirl is (c) and registered trademark 2008 D.Squire Wells