Friday, October 1, 2010

Scooter-Mann Interview



Interviewer: How long have you been riding scooters?

Scooter-Mann: It was right after my fifth divorce which was about 15 years ago.Yes,I remember clearly,I was 25.I used to ride a Harley.I switched to an electric scooter once I got kicked out of the Biker Club I was a member of.I love riding the electric scooter because it's politically correct and much better for the Enviroment then a gas engine.I have autographs from both Al Gore and Leonardo Dicaprio...I loved that movie "Titanic".It is like the story of my life!

Interviewer: You?..were in a Biker Club? Why did you get kicked out?

Scooter-Mann: Yes,"The Ranch House Raiders" was the name of it.It was a pretty cool Club but our leader and I didn't see eye to eye.We both fell in love with the same girl.I think she liked me because I am very sensitive,have great teeth and am a Yellow Belt in Karate.I also belong to five different Records and CD clubs so I can literally get any downloaded song you can imagine.Girls love music,you know?

Interviewer: Who are your heroes?

Scooter-Mann: I would have to say Steve McQueen and Evil Knievel...those two guys were classic and I could watch both of them on TV all day long.Actually,I do....that's the best thing about being an Action Figure.I don't have to go to work if I don't want to.I can just watch TV all day...plus...I don't have any bills to worry about either,no groceries cause I don't eat.It is quite the life I tell you!

Interviewer: You are a Yellow Belt in Karate?

Scooter-Mann: Yes,I am.I can actually beat up the average 12 year old...I mean,not that I would...

Interviewer: Are you still studying Karate?

Scooter-Mann: Yes,I'm taking an on-line course from some guy I met on Craigslist.He says he is certified.The whole course was $12,500 up front.I'm expecting my green stripe in the mail any day now.

Interviewer: What former jobs have you had before becoming the mechanic/owner of The Brant Rock Garage?

Scooter-Mann: I worked at a Toll Booth once.I met alot of people doing that job.I also got free tolls for everyone in my Family.It was great!..until I got fired.

Interviewer: Why did you get fired?

Scooter-Mann: I was selling stuff on E-Bay.

Interviewer: Selling stuff on E-Bay? That's not illegal or anything? Why would they fire you for selling items on E-Bay?

Scooter-Mann: Well,to save on shipping I was having people come by and pick the stuff up at my Toll that I was working.I sell this Grandfather Clock...and the guy comes to pick it up in a sports car.My Supervisor Hank turned me in shortly after that episode.

...to be continued

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